we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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