You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
