It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
