Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
