shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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