WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
