I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
