? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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