who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
