What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
