If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
