this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
