In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
