I think scott just propositioned me for sex
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
