Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have fence marks all over my body
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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