So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
