I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
