Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The adults are the big ones right?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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