Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
