Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
