Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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