if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
