My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize