Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
