when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
