so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
