He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize