Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
