I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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