In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
