just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
