Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This is the high leading the old right now
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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