well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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