bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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