You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
