Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
