; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
