I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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