By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
