Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
