let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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