So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
