I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
