I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
