"it" just moved
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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