Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
organizing the empties. That sober.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
