So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
