Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
bring money and cleavage
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
