Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Buhtt sex?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
