Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
